The Joke Thread

[Chridian]

yes, we need this, as a sort of pick-me-up thread and just for giggles and laughs
I'll start:
A man his wife and their mother in law were on a vacation in Jerusalem, the mother in law died, and it would cost them 10000 to ship her home for the funeral, and 100 dollars to burry her there.
Let's ship her home said the man, seems like the right thing to do.
Isn't it cheaper to do it here, said the wife?
the man turned serious and said:
Few years ago a man died and was burried here, and after 3 days he was resurrected from the dead, there's no way in hell I'm taking that chance.

[Mr.Che]

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?




Their greatest hit was The Wall

[Balloon]

Mr.Che Wrote:What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?




Their greatest hit was The Wall

Haha, I'm totally going to use that.

[Mr.Che]

Lol glad you like it

[Niih]

Cheating

Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," said Bob. "Is mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Bob said, "But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!"

"Yes I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!"

A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, fell down the stairs, went through the front window and now she's dead."

"Oh my God! And what about Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that you took out all the water last week to paint it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool, and now he's dead too."

There was a long pause, then Bob said, "Swimming pool? Is this 741-0766?"

[Mr.Che]

Rofl, thats vicious!!!

[Balloon]

Haha good joke Niih I like that.

[Niih]

A pretty drunk guy comes into a bar late friday evening.

He order a beer and take a good sip of it then he looks around in the bar,
and see someone he might know, and yell:
"Hey you! i slept with your mother"

A man at a nearby table turns halfway around, but he immediately resumes the conversation with the others around the table,
without bothering about the drunk.

after a min or 2 the drunk yells:
"Hey you!, your mother has given me blowjobs"

The man at the table takes a sip of his pint, a little trembling in his hand,
but is still not significant notice of the man standing at the counter and yelling

1 min after the drunk yells again:
"Hey you! i had anal with your mother!"

The other dude turns around, put his beer down and says:
"Go home dad, your making me embarrassed!"

---

Glad ya liked it!

[Mr.Che]

Lol awesome!!!!


So there this guys who walks into a bar but has no money at all. He goes up to the bartender and asked him if he could have a beer but that he had no money. Bartender thinks about it, he says "Well, you see that donkey outside? If you can make that donkey laugh, I'll give you a beer free of charge.

The guys heads outside towards the donkey while the bartender watches them from inside the bar when all of a sudden the donkeys starts laughing. The guys gets his beer and drinks it.

He goes back to the bartender and asked him if he could have another beer. He says, "Well, I'll give you a beer if you can make that donkey cry."

The guy goes outside while the bartender is watching them from the bar when all of a sudden the donkey starts crying... The guy goes back inside and drinks his beer.

The guy asked the bartender again for another beer. The bartender said "I'll give you a beer if you tell me how you made that donkey laugh and cry." The guy responds, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was longer than his, the second time I showed it to him."

[Niih]

ahaha! Awsome one! xD